May should go easy on May

May in Paris always turns out to be a beautiful month with the sun rising early in the morning and a nice weather that allows you to throw away your coats and heavy outerwear –well, maybe not throwing it away for real, just keep it on the back of your closet- but unfortunately since ever I came to Paris May turns out to be a specially difficult month. For starters, I usually pick the wrong timing to use dresses, shorts and the alike and I somehow end up having some kind of unfortunate incident, but well that’s nothing compared to a literally sleepless month when–I’m not exaggerating at all- sleeping 3 daily hours makes you feel guilty about wasting your precious time on such a pointless thing to do when you could be working instead. May is the month when we fashion students present our final projects, I know fashion sounds like an easy thing to do, but believe me arriving to school the day of the exam is like experiencing the zombie apocalypses. I have to acknowledge that, in my case, my tendency to over-think about every single detail makes whatever task million times more difficult but just in general I’d be glued to my computer, sketchbook, pattern making tools pretty much 24/7. Just as an example, this morning,  I woke up with an sketchbook under my pillow –no wonder my neck is  hurting so much-  and it’s not because I’m messy, it’s just that my bed became a table to place my stuff this past week, imagine me, sleeping on the bed for the first time in a week… sounds lovely. May it’s just awful, no sleep, no decent meals, just work, work, work and more work, sometimes I’d even wish my exam would simply include a piece of paper with questions like explain in 4000 words the legal implication of… or idk… solve an impossible equation… at least in that case I could come up with an answer right on the spot but it’s not like I’m shameless enough to appear –as I’ve seen some cases of lazy/’chill’ people who mainly do nothing all year round- in front of the school jury with an unfinished outfit claiming that they lost the sleeve of a raglan design on their way there *unbelievable, I know* and a lame portfolio that includes some handmade sketches colored 5 minutes before the interview. In any case I chose to be a fashion designer and I have to deal with it, but May also happens to be the month when my mom celebrates her birthday, -and yeah, there’s Mother’s Day at it-, I know many of you would find it childish and hard to believe but every time my mom’s b-day comes I become an emotional mess… why? Well, living far from her it’s like the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life and it’d take me a week telling you the story of my family’s history so everybody could understand why exactly but to be general she’s the greatest woman ever, I know us children always believe our mothers are just brilliant but my mom is so good that my male best friend would go to his mom and tell her ‘Mom, you aint that great’ haha –don’t ever do that to your moms though-. My dear mother is not only a great friend, but also the most wonderful woman on Earth, my Asian friends have nicknamed her the ‘wonder-woman’ and without being biased I can’t come out with a better name, she’s just that, unbelievable.

Everybody has let me down at least once, father, sister, relatives, friends, boyfriends, but mom is the only one who’s never –even now- left me alone, I’m just so thankful, I can’t describe it with words. I’m always telling it to her but as I finally finished my school formation I hardly doubt there’s a better moment to thank her again and tell her how much I miss her and how much I wished I could be with her and remind her I could never take a step without acknowledging how much she has given up on my behalf so I’ll try to be better, even harder, now.

I know not everybody is as blessed as I am and you guys would fight with your mothers, have these tantrum moments when you blame your mum for every single thing that has gone wrong with your life, find her worries completely absurd, complain about the food she cooks, ignore her calls and choose spending time with your friends instead of her or just do something she dislikes. I know those are usual things to do as you grow older and become independent, we can’t be all ‘love and peace’ we’re humans, but I want to remind you that growing older it’s also about growing wiser and above all never taking things for granted. I don’t want to ‘brag about myself’ but I can say I’ve been a relatively good daughter and I’ve been always close to my mother so now being far from her it’s simply so awful and painful that whenever I see kids mistreating their moms on the street or my friends calling their moms ‘crazy witches’ I seriously want to punch them on the face. 
Be grateful for your moms and all the things they do, even if you don’t understand them or their behavior is just beyond annoying, love them and respect them. Even if you’re not close and can’t share everything with them or do things together, consider them as a house where you can always return to and find all those things you’re lacking somewhere else and no one else will ever be able to give you. They’re all precious so treasure their love and don’t wait for the day you’re apart to appreciate all those things they do for you. 

Ok, I’m done with my emotional posts, I’ve been so overwhelmed with work and I’m just so happy about finishing school that I needed to be emotionally messy… if that even makes sense xD haha. In another note, it’s almost summer, Paris is unusually perfect for me and I’m seeking a job–an internship at least- life is always complicated but worrying it’s not an option so I’m being all ‘love and peace’ how are you? Hope life is treating you nicely.

XOXO

From Paris,

May